I wish I would have known how much allowing myself to love you was going to hurt; that all of my efforts were going to end up feeling like they were in vain, and that I would only lie to myself, to my wants and needs, to not even receive even the most minimum form of affection from your part. You warned me, I was careful. Caution never took me anywhere. I took steps, for what? To realize how stupid I can be and what a mess you are.